Hi my friend,

It’s a blessing for me to connect with you in this way today. We have so much to catch up on, so let’s get right to it!

Right from the beginning of this new decade, the energies have been nudging us to examine, refine, and heal our relationships.

This includes the relationship we have with ourselves, as well as with our family, friends, partners, and work colleagues.

February will serve as an excellent time to get clear on the dynamics of our current relationships—how we are contributing to them, and whether we desire to make some important personal shifts, to create greater balance in our relationships as we move forward.

There are some questions we may find helpful at this time, such as:

– Do our current relationships feel balanced, expansive, and enjoyable?

– Are we feeling free and open to fully be ourselves, in every way?

– What kind of relationships would we like to experience more of?

– Are the dynamics of our current relationships a result of us repeating the dynamics we saw as children, in the adults around us?

These types of questions can help us gain tremendous clarity on whether or not we are fully loving ourselves.

Our relationships are also a mirror of the relationship we have cultivated with ourselves.

We may have placed ourselves in situations where we often feel the need to accommodate others—a sign we have not established a balanced exchange of support, love, and respect in our relationships.

This happens as a result of us not loving ourselves and honoring our own needs.

This is the time, right here and now, to let all of our relationships be a reflection of us loving ourselves unconditionally.

Transcending the People-Pleasing Pattern

Most of us were not taught how to love, and not shown the importance of making ourselves an equal if not top priority in our lives.

We were most likely taught to first please our parents, and others, before ourselves.

The relationship we had with our parents directly affects every relationship we experience as adults. (Until we do the inner healing work.)

The most important things a child needs from their parents are unconditional love, acceptance, and complete acknowledgement.

A child deserves to fully be seen, heard, and honored for who they really are, not for what they do or accomplish.

However, because of the times they grew up in and their own limited awareness, most parents just did not have the tools and capacity to teach us anything different from what they were taught during their own upbringing.

Our parents also came from an ancestral lineage that passed down to them unresolved traumas.

These traumas often take up so much inner space that they prevent parents from knowing how to manage their own emotions by using coping behaviors.

So of course, because these parents are unable to manage their own emotions, they have little or no idea how to support their children in managing their emotions.

This pattern has a great impact on us as children.

One of the biggest impacts, is that it teaches children to people-please in order to receive love and acknowledgement.

It makes the child contort themselves to fit into whatever their parents want them to be.

The child begins to do more of the things their parents deem as good, and starts to reject and hide the parts of themselves their parents deem as bad or useless.

Every person just wants love and acceptance, and wants to be viewed as a good human being. No one wants to disappoint their parents.

This is why most sensitive and in-tune children people-please.

As we do our inner healing work, we expand our awareness to understand that we don’t need to please people any more in order to be loved and accepted.

We become such a wellspring of unconditional love to ourselves, that we no longer need to contort ourselves to fit into what others think we should be.

We become so self-sustaining that we no longer need everyone to like, love, and accept us.

We become the emotionally mature parent—to our inner child, and that our own children so deserve and need.

This is us freeing ourselves from the people-pleasing pattern.

February will serve as an excellent month for us to untangle ourselves from this pattern, once and for all!

If you’re feeling that some of your relationships could use a bit of refining right now, the process below can help support you in that.

The Mirror Process

Step 1: Think of a current relationship in your life that you desire to improve or refine.

Step 2: Write down all of the ways in which you think that relationship could benefit from some refinement or improvement.

For example: Better communication, greater appreciation of one another, or a more balanced exchange of love and support.

Step 3: Look at what you have written, and ask yourself, Are the items I listed something I want the other person to change about themselves? Or are they something I would like to improve within myself?

If the answer is the latter, you now have clarity on what you can give to yourself in order to build a strong and nourishing relationship with yourself.

That is vital, because our relationship with our own inner self is the foundation from which we experience all relationships.

If you noticed that your mind wanted to make it about the other person, please continue to Step 4.

Step 4: Ask yourself: How does it serve me, to want to change or control how others treat me?

Usually the core answer to that question ends up being something about safety and self-protection.

The desire to change and control others is a survival pattern the mind has identified with, as a result of forgetting what our Spirit has always known: that It—our true essence—can never be controlled, because it is infinite and eternal.

It is everything!

At your core, you do not really desire to control anyone. That impulse is just the mind’s way of protecting itself.

Doesn’t it feel lighter to know that?

With this new awareness, you can then begin to understand that the relationship was just a mirror, reflecting back to you how you have been treating yourself.

These are patterns that exist on both a conscious and subconscious level, as a result of your upbringing, and personal experiences you‘ve accumulated throughout life.

Step 5: With the awareness that everything you wrote on your list was just what you desire to give to yourself, go back over the items on your list, and read them out loud in the following statement:

“I desire to give myself _______________ (fill in the blank), so I now choose to give myself this.”

Repeat the same statement for all of the items you wrote on your list.

Step 6: Thank the person you originally thought of, for being the mirror that showed you what you weren’t fully giving yourself.

Step 7: Thank yourself for being so open and willing to understand that the whole situation has only ever been about how you treat you.

Step 8: Make the decision to give yourself everything you ever thought others should be giving you, and give yourself that on a daily basis.

This is you, coming back into your power!

As you become the one who gives yourself everything you thought others should be giving you, you will find that your happiness and fulfillment quotients magnify Big Time!

You will begin noticing that the people who are unable to do these things for themselves, such as increased self-respect, will start to lovingly move into the background of your life, while those who can do that for themselves will increasingly begin to show up for you, in extraordinary ways.

Let the New Adventures Begin

The next few months—a period of time that started around the New Year—is a time for us to allow that deep fire within us to come out and play.

This is our time to connect with our free-spirited nature, and to live our lives to the fullest.

This is also the perfect time to begin new adventures!

One of the things that holds most people back from living their life to the fullest, is fear of the unknown.

The truth is, there is no such thing as the unknown, because that part of us known as the Spirit already knows everything.

Yes, our Spirit is a “know-it-all,” in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the ego.

Let’s take comfort in the fact that our Spirit knows exactly what It needs to do to take the best care of us, and that our only job is to honor the guidance It offers us.

Imagine the extraordinary possibilities we instantly open ourselves up to, when we let go of our fear of the unknown!

Right now is the time to release any fear of the unknown, because while the energies of the Sun are in Aquarius, they will energize us to go beyond any of the previous limitations we have set for ourselves.

Now is the time to notice the amazing opportunities that begin to present themselves, to help us enrich our lives.

And when something feels good, let’s just go for it!

Whether it’s in the areas of relationships, environment, career, our health and well-being, creativity—now is the time to open ourselves up to the expected and unexpected blessings coming our way!

As we begin our new adventures, it’s important to be flexible and adaptable. Let’s allow our Spirit/Life to guide us on the journey It desires to take us on.

This can sometimes be a little challenging for the mind. And yet, if there was a perfect time to just let ourselves run free, this is it!

This is not a time to hibernate. This is a time to go out into the world and engage, and to share in the love, joyous laughter, and higher energies available to us now!

As always, may this month bless you in spectacular ways, and may you always know that we are all in this together.

Till next time,

Miraculously Yours,
Emmanuel

©2009 – 2020 Emmanuel Dagher. All Rights Reserved www.emmanueldagher.com.
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